She gazed intently at the poster hanging splendidly before her, took a pleasurable drag on her cigarette, and sipped her coffee, which was enriched with a good shot of brandy. One could say that all of this was like a ritual for her, every late afternoon after her shift in the café-bar. Lounge was the name of this establishment, and it truly lived up to it; it became one of the coziest hot spots in town. There, she started working after dropping out of her apprenticeship. That was already three years ago. She had planned not to work long at the café; she thought it would be just a temporary phase until something better came along. Maybe another apprenticeship that matched her ideas, because her first try, being a hairdresser, really wasn’t her thing. The months and years passed; she had settled in well and got along perfectly with her colleagues, but the main advantage was that, if circumstances required, she could switch shifts at short notice. Luckily, that didn’t happen often. Basically, she always had the day shift from 10:00 to 18:30. Afterwards came her ritual, which lasted only half an hour, but this short period was sacred to her; it was time spent with herself. Not that her job was too stressful, no, but she had to prepare for what came after, for home. Now she sat here, together with the poster depicting paradisiacal Mauritius, a turquoise-blue sea, a white, innocent, sandy beach, surrounded by lush green and colorful plants.

Andrea sighed deeply, wishing she could spend just a few days there, letting the sun shine on her belly and thinking of nothing and no one. Not about the three cappuccinos for table three, the coffee bean order she was exclusively responsible for, or about her mother and Clara, whom she constantly had to take care of so that nothing completely got out of hand. Just be away for a few days. Or maybe a week? Andrea looked at her watch; she only had fifteen minutes left. She lit another cigarette, the last one for today, because her mother didn’t like smoking in the apartment. With her eyes closed, she took another sip of coffee and let the merging taste of coffee beans, brandy, and nicotine linger on her palate, enjoying it completely. Then she opened her eyes again and froze in astonishment.

“What are you doing here? Are you already off work?”

“You forgot your smartphone under the counter, and since I know you like to linger here in front of the travel agency and the poster for a while, I thought I’d catch you up.” Leo handed her the smartphone with a warm smile.

Andrea thanked him, glanced at it, saw two missed calls from her mother in red on the screen, and put it in her bag.

“How did you know I was here?” she probed.

“I’ve seen you sitting here some afternoons after your shifts when I took out the trash. See, the trash cans are over there. From there, you have a direct view of this bench you’re sitting on. Not that you think I was following you.” Andrea nodded silently, indicating she accepted the apology.

“You seem fascinated by this paradise vacation spot.” Leo pointed blindly, without turning around, with his thumb at the poster.

“Well, as it looks, it will only remain a dream destination for me,” Andrea replied bitterly.

“Why? You should have enough vacation time. You’ve been working for over half a year without a break, so I think the boss won’t refuse if you apply for one or two weeks off. Admittedly, you make the best coffee, but I think the customers will survive with your vacation replacement during that time.”

“The problem isn’t whether the boss can find a good substitute for me or whether I’m entitled to vacation in general.”

“Oh yeah, so what’s the reason? Maybe I can help you find a solution.” Andrea grew uncomfortable; the conversation was slowly becoming intimate, and she didn’t really want to reveal much about herself. Especially to Leo, she didn’t know him very well, as he had only started working at the café about one and a half months ago. Andrea didn’t warm up to new people quickly. She had this attitude even as a child; she wasn’t hostile or suspicious toward strangers, just cautious. This mindset was instilled in Andrea by her mother. Elisabeth had always been highly emotional and careful. Clara, her younger sister, was luckier; she managed to escape this lonely way of life because their mother was already too exhausted to focus on raising the youngest. Besides, there was Andrea, the eldest, who was supposed to learn to take responsibility. The little sister, Clara, was the best opportunity to practice, according to the mother. And father, well, didn’t have much to object to, as he was mostly absent due to his job as a pharmaceutical representative. And when he suddenly died one day, a shock for the family, especially for Elisabeth, this unfortunate event completely threw her off track. Andrea, then 18, and Clara, 12, had to witness their mother fall apart, barely managing to get to work. She started oversleeping on her shifts; whether early or late, it didn’t matter; Elisabeth slept at any time. So, Andrea made it her task to wake her mother so she could fulfill her duties as a train attendant. Clara, on the other hand, lived in her own world, with her own rules. Despite the successive severe blows of fate, she didn’t take the situation too seriously. Even as a little child, she viewed life playfully and was very open to the world. Sometimes, she was too open, which caused her problems, especially later at school. Her grades got worse; she often disappeared from the schoolyard during breaks with classmates, and she was also caught smoking. When Clara’s teacher then called for a parent-teacher meeting, Clara’s mother unfortunately had no time, or rather, no desire, so Andrea had to go. When Mr. Schmidt met her instead of her mother, he wasn’t thrilled but showed understanding, as he knew about the father’s death and their complicated transitional situation.

After the meeting with Mr. Schmidt, she confronted Clara about the smoking; Clara replied cheekily, “But you smoke too!” “You’re only 15, and I’m of age,” Andrea countered. “What difference does that make? It’s only three years, and I’m sure you started before that, too.” After this hard-hitting argument, Andrea was left speechless.

That’s what her life looked like: a mother who constantly slept, had to be forced to work, and wasn’t interested in anything else, and a teenage sister who enjoyed life, lived for the moment, and didn’t want to take responsibility, not even for her actions. She, Andrea, had to coordinate the household and the whole family completely on her own.

But could she confess all this to Leo and explain that these were the reasons why she didn’t dare to be away from home even for two days? Oh, how much she wished she could finally get all this off her chest.

While Andrea was deeply lost in her tormenting thoughts, kneading her coffee cup with one hand, Leo watched her with great interest. He sensed her inner turmoil and hoped for a revelation from her side. Andrea took the last drag from her cigarette and extinguished the stub by throwing it into the empty cup. She stared at Leo seriously; he sensed she was about to leave. He had to act quickly.

“Isn’t it the family that makes our lives difficult?” he burst out. Andrea froze, looking at him with wide eyes.

“How do you come up with something like that? Why do you say that?”

“Not that I was secretly eavesdropping. I just happened to be standing next to you as I put the milk in the fridge. You were telling Katrin about your sister, how she started smoking, didn’t pay attention in school, didn’t learn anything, and that’s why you had to go to the parent-teacher meeting again.” Andrea continued to stare at him, but this time with furrowed brows. Leo feared an outburst and tried to justify himself more thoroughly.

“Honestly, I didn’t really mean to listen, but as I said, you were at the coffee machine making coffee and talking to Katrin at the same time, I had to put away the milk cartons, and the fridge is right next to the coffee machine below.”

“I have to go,” Andrea mumbled, grabbed her bag, and stood up.

“Wait, please,” Leo pleaded. “I mean well. Sometimes it’s better to let everything out than to bottle it up. Maybe I can help you?”

“How do you want to help me? Do you want to go to the parent-teacher meeting instead of me? Which, actually, shouldn’t be my job at all, but my mother’s. But she’s not interested in anything or anyone. Not even herself. I’m 21 years old, and for three years, since my father died, I’ve had to take care of everything: mother, little sister, work, paperwork, and no one asks how I’m doing. Whether I need a break.”

“That’s what I’m saying, I’m here and happy to listen to you,” Leo offered.

Andrea looked at him suspiciously. “Why? Why are you doing this?”

“What do you mean? Why am I doing this? I like helping people. Isn’t it nice to spread a little compassion and joy through sincere and well-meaning advice and help? Just like that, selflessly, without expecting anything in return.”

“Well, it would be nice if there were more people who thought that way. The world would definitely be better.”

“That’s what I think too. That’s why I’m telling you this in good faith: Our family is very important. It’s the smallest society we’re born into and will always be part of. But it’s not right to sacrifice ourselves completely. What I mean is, no matter how difficult the situation is, you shouldn’t stop setting personal goals and dreams and pursuing and fulfilling them. You have to keep developing – as a person and as a personality.”

“Are you saying I don’t have a personality?”

“Of course not. On the contrary, I think you’re a wonderful person. Nowadays, it’s rare to meet someone who has internalized such a sense of responsibility and doesn’t put themselves first. But you know, there are moments when you should do exactly that, think only of yourself, and do what you feel like and what your soul longs for. If this dream trip to Mauritius is too expensive, there are other vacation destinations that aren’t as costly. How about Paris, Barcelona, or Rome? Even if it’s just for a few days, I’m sure you’ll feel like a different person, like a newborn. And I think it will also be a good opportunity to test your mother and your sister, to see how they react when you’re not there. Sometimes you must throw people into deep water, so they finally wake up and regain their strength. Think it over.” Leo glanced at his watch. “I have to go now. My shift has already started. If I don’t hurry, I’ll lose my job.” And off he went.

Andrea just managed to say goodbye and was left deep in new thoughts. The ringing of her smartphone brought her out of her trance. “I’m already on my way, Mother,” she answered and set off, but with new, refreshing courage and hope. She never would have expected that a stranger could radiate such good, comforting energy.

Back home, she first retreated to her room and searched for travel offers. Later, all three sat together at dinner, silent, each absorbed in their own inner world and their food. Andrea broke this silence to announce her decision: “If everything goes well and my boss agrees, I will fly to Barcelona for five days next Monday.” Elisabeth paused for a moment, her fork full of spaghetti. But after a few seconds, she brought the bite to her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. When she had swallowed, she said: “That is a surprise. I didn’t know you liked Barcelona so much. But that’s okay. I think you’ve earned a break. The last few years haven’t been easy for you.”
“And what about me? I want to go on vacation too,” Clara burst out.

“You should first improve your grades. Don’t think I’m unaware of what you’re doing at school. From now on, you’ll come straight home after school and study until your grades get better. Also, I’ll talk to your class teacher, Mr. Schmidt, and get more information.” Clara looked offended and turned her attention back to her plate.

“If you need money for your vacation, let me know,” Elisabeth said to Andrea.

“Thank you, Mother, but I’ve saved up quite a bit; that will be enough for me.”

The next day, Andrea submitted her vacation request. Even though it was on short notice, the boss showed compassion and approved of it. He said he had already found it odd that she hadn’t requested any time off for so long. Happily, after her shift, Andrea looked for Leo, but was told he had quit that morning because of a family emergency in France. This news made Andrea thoughtful. She would have loved to thank him, because without him and his words, she would never have taken this step. He came like a guardian angel who pulled her out of her dark world and finally woke her up to reach out to wider horizons.”

The End

©2026, Vasiliki Papadopoulou

^{image: Jerri Finch, Awakening}