He still walked back and forth in his little studio apartment after having tried many times to fall asleep; whenever he laid down, he felt like he would drown. Thus, like pulling on a branch, he stood up again, back to square one, and walked back and forth, back and forth.

“What am I supposed to do now? „ Unstoppable, he poured out this question. Thinking about his life, he didn’t have great expectations. His job was to make coffee in a small corner coffee store, where everything had to be done in a strict pattern: Coffee, juices, cakes, sandwiches. Surprisingly, despite this limited variety, the shop acquired more customers than the other big stores nearby, offering a greater choice. So, he presumed that he just had some talent for making coffee. However, important to him was that he had a job, which helped him make ends meet. Apart from that, he was fond of his job; he most liked the individual touch with the customers. Carefully, he listened to their stories and problems while he made their coffee, and sometimes, he dared to give them some advice. This made him feel like a psychologist despite lacking professional knowledge.

He was afraid that everything would change now, and he hated changes. Once again, he checked the numbers by nailing his eyes on the coupon. No, he wasn’t wrong; he had won.

“I’m a millionaire, I’m a millionaire … „ he repeated it loudly to be convinced.

He felt an itchy urge to share this news with someone; otherwise, he would explode. But with whom? He counted his friends and realized he hadn’t many, only three. Then he considered his parents, but he guessed they would wish him to return to the village if they knew. And as for that, he didn’t even want to imagine it; too many frictions between him and them had occurred so far. They used to take control over his life, what kind of hobbies he should follow, choosing his career, and whom he should marry, always under the focus of getting the highest advantage. He pondered again over the moment when their intervention hurt him most. The time when he announced he wanted to marry his high school sweetheart. Immediately, they persuaded him, reminding him of his young age and he should finish his business studies first. An apparent pretense, they didn’t want him at all to marry his high school sweetheart, Anne, because she didn’t fulfill their requirements of a cultivated, wealthy daughter-in-law.

Another reason he wanted to avoid returning to the village was because he just couldn’t set up a life there. The monotony and the habit of the villagers burying their noses into others’ lives instead of dealing with their problems annoyed him immensely.

“Return to the village? No, it is not a good idea. Not at all. „

In all his confusion, the only thing he could decide was that early on the next day — since he had a day off — he would go to arrange the payout of his lottery win.

The morning looked promising with its bright sun of May, and even though he slept only for a few hours, he got quickly out of bed. The weather and bloomy smell of the air predicted summer was on the doorstep, and the delightful sunlight warmed the atmosphere, his skin, and soul. Sitting on the balcony on the third floor, smoking his morning cigarette while savoring his steaming hot cup of coffee, he let his soul recharge. At the same time, he observed the traffic, surrounding condos, and empty balconies. On the street, people rushed in tune with the rhythm of their daily routine — to be on time at work. A smirk hushed over his face as it struck him that they looked like running robots, and he wondered if he also looked like them when he rushed along the streets.

At the Lottery Shop, the procedure for claiming his win proceeded quickly, and they promised his name as the jackpot winner would remain unknown as he wished. It was his preference because he wasn’t keen on much jangle.

Somehow eased, he returned home and put a deep-frozen salami pizza in the oven. Then he opened a bottle of iced beer, and with closed eyes, he took a long sip and let the sweet, malty taste stretch in his mouth. Sitting in his favorite yellow armchair in the living room corner, he pondered about his next steps while waiting for the pizza to get ready.

They told him the money would be transferred to his bank account in a few weeks, and despite that, he still couldn’t believe his mountain of luck. At the same time, he was afraid of which direction it would turn his whole organized life.

“What shall I do now with five million? „ He wondered, pressured and tensely, considering again whom he could trust with this news. He feared his small circle of friends and colleagues would soon know about his win. This terrified him, being suspicious that their behavior towards him could change. Money has always changed people, not only those who own it but also those around them.

Indeed, he would donate a good amount to charity, but what shall he do with the remaining amount? After lunch and gaining some clarity, he finally found the courage to call John. He decided John was the only person he could trust, so he offered to go with him for a drink.

When he arrived at the Bar, John had been already waiting for him, sitting in a corner at a table for two.

“Finally! I started to worry that you might fell into a ditch and was ready to call the police. „ Said John with heartfelt jokingly laughter.

“Sorry, I lost the subway for a few seconds. Therefore, tonight, all drinks are on me. „

“Wow! Did you win the lottery? „

Thomas’s body stiffened, and he turned to the adjacent tables to see if someone had heard John. On the other hand, John sensed that his friend felt awkward and tried calming him down.

“Come on, I was just joking, like if one of us could win the lottery! Such luck is mathematically impossible. „ John shook his head, resigned, and ordered two ice-cold beers.

“Whatever, I remind you, you promised to give me a treat, so don’t change things up. „

Thomas, still concerned, remained silent, but after two big swigs of his ice-cold beer, he came loose and set free his thoughts.

“Let’s imagine that you indeed win the lottery; what would you do with all the money? „

“Hmm, I would buy a car, a Jaguar, and after that party in clubs without end. Aaahh, and of course, I would buy a luxury house. Nobody wants to live in a rental. „

“OK, and after that? „ Thomas asked forcefully.

“What after that? „

“What would you do with the rest of the money? „

“Don’t know, maybe traveling around the world. But why do you persist in asking me? „

“Just asking, hypothetically. „

“Leave the hypothesis and the lottery aside. Tell me what happened between you and Dolores. It is crystal clear that she is fond of you. I hope you aren’t mad that I gave her your phone number. Did she call you? „

“No, I’m not mad, and yes, she called me. „

“And ???„

“She’s a nice girl, but it hasn’t occurred to meet her again. „

“But you like her, and she likes you back. What are you waiting for? She’s a charming, kind girl. What are you afraid of? „

“I’m scared of nothing. These things need their time. „

“I have only one thing to tell you. Live your life as if there’s no tomorrow. Don’t let trifle matters drag you down. „

Uncomfortable continuing to discuss his love affair, Thomas switched to another topic. And which was better than football? So, they spent the rest of the evening in a cozy ambiance, talking about football and John’s work as a receptionist in a luxury hotel. He loved his job and fought tooth and nail to climb the career ladder. As usual, someone with this kind of ambition must face reality as an unpleasant superior, making it difficult to achieve this goal. However, he exclaimed decisively not to give up; this was John as he had always known and admired him.

Back in his neighborhood, Thomas decided to take a little stroll to the square before going to his apartment, where kids and adults had already gathered on this pre-summer evening. The crowd’s voices, mixed with dog barking and other undefining sounds, overcame the distance and sneaked into his ears. He looked up to the block flats, where scattered, lightened-up windows outspread a warming aura. He imagined parents with their children sitting around the table, having dinner or discussing their day at school, and unexpected melancholy swept over him. He traveled to his childhood and tried to detect a similar scene with his parents. Did they ever have such gatherings or discussions?

When he reached the square, a homeless sitting on a bench and reading under a light pole caught his eye. Feeling attracted and curious, he approached this anonymous figure. Close enough, the big letters on the cover revealed the answer: “The Trial by Franz Kafka. “Thomas seated himself next to him.

“A fascinating book; I’ve read it a million times. „

“Yes, indeed, a very captivating story and still relevant today. Kafka manages through his harsh, realistic narration and description of his characters to draw the reader’s attention„, answered the old man.

Thomas remained surprised by this analysis, which didn’t go unnoticed by the homeless man.

“What happened to you, boy? It seems you haven’t expected such an answer from me. You are right; who would expect it from someone who lives on the margins of society to read and discuss literature? But life is full of surprises. „

The older man’s reflection exposed Thomas’s prejudices, which made the latter blush and be ashamed of himself. At his wit’s end, he murmured: “I must go; good night, „ and left.

The following day, Thomas woke up in a happy mood, as he had decided late at night to meet the homeless guy again to put right his behavior. Furthermore, the man’s disarming speech triggered, this time, his curiosity, and he wanted to know more about him and his life.

The day passed quickly at work because his mind was preoccupied with planning for the future. He seriously considered investing his money to open his own business, with which his parents would entirely agree. As always, their opinions greatly influenced him; this made him often feel like a child, and sometimes, he was angry at himself about that. It was time to cut off the umbilical cord.

Sunken in his mind, he was grinding coffee beans, inhaling their herb, flowery, nutty smell, when Natalie looked at him and said with a broad smile. “A penny for your thoughts, „ but Thomas didn’t hear her. Then she got closer and pinched him slightly on the upper arm. Thomas, confused, looked at her: “Excuse me, did you ask something? „

“A lot of things are whirling around my brain, that’s all. „

“You’ve always been introverted to the point of being mysterious. Don’t you get the urge to share yourself and your problems with others? „

“Come on! We have been working together for over two years, and I still don’t know anything about your family. What are the names of your parents? Do you have siblings? I only know that despite your shrewd business acumen, you prefer to make coffee and sandwiches. You could do so much better regarding your career. I think you intentionally cut down any ambition, and I sense there must be a reason behind it. „

“What makes you believe that? „Thomas asked, affronted.

“Don’t get mad at me; I only try to help you open yourself up, but if you feel that I force you, then forget it. „ Natalie excused herself and returned to squeeze fresh orange juice.

Thomas already felt terrible about his reaction and for losing self-control for the first time. He was only reluctant to talk with others about his failed relationship with his parents.

At 10 p.m., after showering and eating a quick bite, he went to the square with a hopeful heart. Thomas approached the exact point where he had first met the older man, and there he was.

“Hello again! „ The old man greeted him.

“Hello, Sir; how are you today? „

“I’m fine, thank you. But without being rude, son, why so much interest in my person? „

“Something tells me that your story must be very intriguing, such as the circumstances that led you to this unpleasant condition. If you tell me your story, maybe I can help you. Of course, only you wish so. „

“My story is not particularly interesting; it is one of many others. If you want to learn more about me, so be it. Where shall I start? I guess my reading sparked your interest.

I started reading passionately at a young age, incited by my father’s presentable little library. First, with children’s books and with advancing age, I read most of them. Then, around fifteen, I began to read prominent classic writers like Fyodor Dostoevsky, Leo Tolstoy, Victor Hugo, Alexandre Dumas, and many others. At that point, my inner voice called me to follow the vocation of being a teacher, especially a literature teacher. All the stories I had read opened a different world for me, and I wanted to pass on this knowledge.

You should know my father was a sought-after doctor around the year. Therefore, the times we went on holiday or ventures weren’t many, and my life was tied to our routine in the city. A city I wasn’t fond of because it hadn’t much to offer for exploration. Hence, the books opened a portal to a different horizon to explore; I endured with fortitude and continued living under restrictive circumstances since I didn’t want to provoke any conflict between me and my parents. Thankfully, the day arrived when one of my set goals came to fruition. I got accepted into a university far from home to study literature and become a teacher. This freed me from part one and set me off to experience a new chapter in life, like the stories I had read so far. This achievement made me promise that my focus as a teacher would be to broaden my student’s horizons no matter the circumstances.

So I did after becoming a teacher and teaching my first freshmen class. In the upcoming years, everything went well. On my reading list was Goethe’s Willhelm Meister’s Apprenticeship. I read it with my students, encouraging them to follow their hearts and intuition and explore the world under the condition of respecting others. Time passed by, and things started to change. I want to mention at this point that my classes always had a significant number of participants. This apparently disturbed my colleagues, who complained about my teaching methods; my methods incited the scholars they claimed. However, after many complaints and inspections by the Board of Education, I remained in my position. However, this didn’t hinder some colleagues from sticking to their guns and deciding to make my life in school unbearable. I resisted for two years, and in the end, I resigned. „

“Why didn’t you ask for a transfer to another school? „

“People were already spreading false rumors around; besides that, they had already written a remark in my personnel record, and only due to that would I have faced the same problems wherever I went. Lastly, you should know the system doesn’t like troublemakers and changes. „

“Isn’t it worth fighting for it? Don’t you think so? „

“Certainly, but who can give such a battle? „

“You had made a start; why did you give up? „

“There are kinds of battles that can only be fought by unique warriors, and I don’t regard myself to be among them. „

“Anyway, now, nobody can restrict me to what to think and speak. I can teach other homeless who are keen to learn more about literature on the streets; this makes me happy. Tell me, what is your job? „

“I work in a coffee shop. „

“Do you like it? „

“I’m good at it. „

“Yes, but do you like it? Do you feel fulfilled? Is that what you heartedly like to do? „

Thomas fell into deep thought, observing his thoughts and feelings. Minutes passed, and he shot out on impulse: “Photographs! When I was young, I liked to take photographs with the camera my godfather gave me as a birthday present when I turned ten. He was an enthusiastic hobby photographer himself. My parents, on the other hand, weren’t very excited about my new hobby. They preferred more tangible and practical activities than creative ones. According to their saying, playing football or basketball would be more beneficial for me, as I eased stress and simultaneously improved my fitness. So, this kind of hobby would be a double win for me, they did claim. Later, when I asked them for a professional camera, they kindly declined it as expected and hoped that my hobby of wasting time would last only temporarily.

I indeed gave up my pursuit; time flew by, and I started my studies in business management. That was precisely what my parents wished for me to do. It is worth mentioning that I never got my degree because I realized that business management isn’t something I would like. It contained too many numbers, statistics, and theories about planning, directing, and controlling for my taste. Ultimately, after struggling for two years, I gave up my studies despite my parents’ protests, and as a little kind of revenge, I started working in the coffee shop. „

When Thomas finished his confession, he thanked his listener for the eye-opening conversation, excused himself that he had to go, and wished him good night. Surprised by the abrupt conversation break, the old man only called after him: “Don’t forget, it is never too late to succeed; essential is to do what you love. „

Three months had passed since the money from the lottery win was laid on his account, waiting silently to be used while Thomas transformed his attitude towards life, especially his work. All at once, everything there dissatisfied him. For example, when it took the customers too long to decide what coffee they wanted to drink during rush hour in the morning behind them, a long queue had already formed at the entrance of the coffee shop. Or when his colleagues chatted too much with one another during work time. But the most determinant point for this metamorphosis was that he expected more from life now; making coffee wasn’t enough anymore. As his work morale deteriorated steadily, his private social life experienced its revival. He often went out with John for a drink, clubbing, or visiting music venues. John had always been cheery on these excursions despite his hardships, as his promotion stagnated due to his superior’s high demands — a single insignificant complaint of a guest set John’s promotion considerably back. Anyhow, John kept hanging in and was optimistic and sure he would get his promotion one day. Thomas admired him for this immense optimism, and at the same time, jealousy gnawed at him.

Days passed like a flowing river until that crucial event brought the conversation with the older homeless man back to his mind. After that incident, he was determined to fulfill his childhood dream of being a photographer. The very next day, he handed in his resignation; the happiness and relief he felt was indescribable.

This event happened between night and day, before dawn on a Sunday, on a night out on the town with John. After dancing the night away, Thomas and John left the club and took deep breaths to refill their lungs with fresh, damp air on the way to the parking lot to catch John’s car when a horrifying scene played out under a light pole. Two men were fighting for unknown reasons, and all of a sudden, one of the two men drew a knife from his jacket and stabbed it cool-blooded three times in the belly of his rival. Under the pole’s light, the blade gleamed with the victim’s blood, who slumped on the pavement powerlessly. The assassin immediately cleaned the knife with a handkerchief and returned both pieces of evidence to his jacket. Merciless, he looked down at the victim, and without checking for possible eyewitnesses, he hid his head behind his collar and ran off the crime scene. All this unfolded in seconds before their eyes, and John and Thomas, frozen in shock, could only stand idly by.

John was the first to recover from this state and rushed to the injured to apply for first aid. Thomas followed him in a trance, still unable to reflect on what actually happened. He watched over John’s movements; then his glance fell onto the victim’s eyes. He saw fear, despair, and plea; it felt like he took a deep dive into his soul, and this illuminative insight made him burst out: “Enough, I’m not going to waste even one day of my life. „ The following death of the victim underlined even more his decision.

The next day, after his resignation, Thomas went to buy professional photography equipment to start the new phase of his life; an unfamiliar feeling of freedom and enthusiasm overflew him.

Later, he called John and asked him to meet up.

“What are you telling me? You remained silent for such a long time and didn’t tell anyone, even not your parents!? „ John cried out in the peaceful ambiance of the café, and the surrounding guests threw him a surprisingly irritated glance.

“Well, I will tell them one day. First, I want to gain ground as a photographer. Will you support me? „

“Of course, I will since this is what makes you happy. But aren’t you afraid to travel in the jungle? „

“Here and for a long time, I seek to discover a different, more authentic world, and I want this world to capture with my lens. „

Two months later, Thomas found himself thrilled, standing in the middle of the Amazon. Everywhere he turned his glance, he faced something unique, fantastic, which even his phantasy couldn’t conceive. The yellow-black Toukan left him astonished with their characteristic, colorful, big beak. This bird, for some natives, fulfilled a sacred role by functioning as a mediator between the living and spiritual world. Besides the Toukan, he met many other groups of birds and animals, like monkeys, poisonous and not-poisonous spiders, impressive colorful frogs, reptiles, and fish. But the Amazon doesn’t host only a kingdom of animals; it also hosts a vast range of plants that someone can marvel at.

This life journey and acquaintance with a native tribe of the Amazon, who lived far away from the modern world, marked him radically. The martial tribe of Kayapo waged war against deforestation and modernization, which destroyed the Amazon and their daily way of living — a traditional way that was fatefully linked to their existence. Thomas lived with them for a couple of weeks, participating in her daily routine and how they make their living from fishing, hunting, and collecting herbs, fruits, and rubber from the Amazon. They exchanged all these goods with other needed items like money, clothing, coffee, soap, salt, and shoes.

The interchange between Thomas and the tribe was based on a few words of Portuguese he had learned before his trip; otherwise, when he reached the limit of his vocabulary, he used his hands and feed and was speechless about how easy it was to understand each other by this primitive way of communication.

A unique bond grew quickly between him and the Kayapo children. They would rush into his arms whenever they spotted him, knowing he hid somewhere sweets. Immediately, they would rummage through his pockets and backpack, looking forward to fishing out a piece of chocolate or toffee. If their search were successful, a bright smile would pop on their face, and they would pleasurably swallow down their finding. On the other hand, if someone studied their parents’ behavior, they didn’t seem to be more different. The vivid, colorful warpaint on their faces and bodies gave them, at first sight, a scary appearance, but their impulsiveness unveiled a childlike puerility. When Thomas took photos of them in full splendor, they were thrilled like children on Christmas Eve when they saw their image in the pictures. Their reaction touched Thomas’s heart, and getting carried away by this virgin joy, he would share their laughter and happiness.

Despite the stunning appearance of the Amazon, someone should keep in mind that it also contains a lot of dangers; a visitor jeopardizes losing his life every day, especially if he is unfamiliar with such an environment. One moment of blunder and a well-camouflaged poisonous snake hidden under a small hill of leaves would bite you in a split second. Not to speak about the humid and warm climate, which drives you to the limit of exhaustion. Despite all this danger, Thomas enjoyed his stay in this rough world and made meaningful friendships. At the end of his visit, he left the jungle heavy-heartedly but promised his new friends to come back again.

Thomas returned home with a full suitcase of pictures he had taken during his stay in the Amazon. For the following months, he put in a lot of work to pick up the theme and match the pictures of his endeavored exhibition. This whole working process was a completely different experience for him compared to the first part when he let outer appearances of the exotic environment, light, surroundings, individuals, and animals impact him while shooting these pictures. Now, in the second part, he had to evaluate this outcome objectively and face the feelings he had while he took these pictures, not only his but also the state and emotions of his models. Startled, he got drawn to the Kayapo people, as if he belonged to them, and felt driven to protect them from the wave of modernization. This sentiment aroused his creativity to find a way to help them, and he decided that the solution lies in how he would present his work to the world, which, at the same time, was a part of his identity.

Thanks to John — who didn’t miss the opportunity to talk to everybody about his friend and his experience in the Amazon — very soon, a gallery was found to show his photo exhibition. A gallery owner who was a regular guest at the hotel restaurant where John worked was finally willing to help him.

The exhibition also meant the time had arrived to speak to his parents. Before he went to the Amazon, he only told them on a call that he would go abroad for a few weeks for barista training. But now, he had to tell them the truth about his lottery win and his new chapter in life. Initially, hearing this news, his parents were outraged, not because he lied to them regarding the barista training but because he made this dangerous trip to the Amazon.

“What if something worse had happened to you? How would we have known about it? „ His father complained, enraged.

Thomas explained that he was terrified and confused after his win. He first tried to figure out what he wanted in his life, for example, what vocation to follow. After that, he realized he wished to become a photographer since his godfather gave him that little camera. He reminded them of when he asked them to buy him a professional, and they refused. He admitted that he never wanted to study Business Management, but he did it only to please them.

“You always controlled my life. This time, I wanted to decide without you influencing me. „

“We only wanted the best for you. „Answered his father apologetically.

Thomas grabbed the opportunity and unburdened everything that lay heavy on his heart and felt relieved after he finished. On the other hand, his parents were in shock since they hadn’t expected to hear this kind of confession; with lowered heads and silence, they listened to him without interruption. When Thomas finished, they first let the words sink into them for a few minutes. At last, they admitted their mistakes and failures and asked him repentantly for forgiveness. Both promised to respect his future decisions and support him in everything he wished to do. They would also be pleased since he did what he loved.

The day of the exhibition was the happiest day of his life so far. Many people attended the presentation, and it was a success. The photographs draw attention to the crime against the Amazon and the natives who lived in and from it. A crime that destroyed the lungs of our planet Earth, which subsequently induced the death of Mother Nature and the extermination of long-history native tribes.

Thomas was happy that he could give a voice to his new friends from the Amazon. Days after his exhibition, he decided, together with his new comrade, the former homeless man, to go back and fight with them on the front line against the killing of the Amazon.

“Remember, it is never too late to succeed; it is essential to do what you love.”

©2024, Vasiliki Papadopoulou, all rights reserved.